Thursday, July 3, 2008 ; 6:28 PM♥
Life is but all a dream..
She fought for 2 years.. she survived for almost 2 mths when doc says again that she only has 24 to 72hrs.. She lost her memory during the period of time.. All she believe in was GOD when she was in hosp and oh yes.. She lived till 20th June 2008 and left us to be with the lord that she believed in. Mama.. Rest in peace..
I cant believe it and during the wake i keep pondering and asking myself.. is all this but a dream? When i saw her lying in the coffin so peacefully, i was happy that she ended all her sufferings.
During the eulogy, i gotta know that she has always wanted to see nic get married and have kids.. yes.. we gave her 2 adorable great grand daughters..
She was afraid that after nic get married, nic will not visit her again and she was wrong.
Ever since we gotten married, we never failed to visit mama.. We attend all gatherings and we visit her once every 2 to 3 weeks..
Now her greatest worry that i am afraid i am unable to commit is that she's afraid that god might not know me and my 2 kids.. She told lao yi and lao yi told nic. This, is not something which i will agree to.. My kids, i would rather let them make their own choice but then again, it's unfair for Nic.. So we shall see how.
another worry is, noone to carry on the Djong surname.. Well, mama.. If finance allow, give us a few years time and we'll try again.. This i promise you..
Though i am not close with mama, (i will nag at nic to visit her then we'll go together) but i know she's a very loving granny.. I spoken to her many times.. she nv fail to place a smile on her face even though she was very sick. I salute her for that.
this few days has been pretty tough for us.. esp during the period at crematorium.. 1st time we ALL saw my FIL cried.. 1st time..
I am very exhausted but tonight cant seems to get much rest also unless kat decides to be a good girl once again
tomorrow they gng for their jabs.. Ahh i dare not see esp kimberly.. I am missing out on the babies and the gatherings!! bt i dare not attend on saturday.. if it's function room i dun mind but at ppl hse, i afraid they pantang.. though i dun believe in such things..
Guess shall wait till nxt time..
Alright gotta sign off.. Feeding my princess and going to bed..
I am still asking myself.. is this a dream..!
